By Helen Lichtenstein
“Ho! ho! ho! … hiccup, hiccup, hiccup. Ho! ho! ho! … hiccup, hiccup, hiccup. Santa took a big, deep breath. Ho! ho! ho! … hiccup, hiccup, hiccup.“
Mrs. Claus was busy baking cookies but was also listening to Santa practicing his ho, hoes.
“Nicki, Nicki, whatever is the matter? The sleigh is loaded and the elves and reindeer are waiting for you. They are very excited and want to get going. If you don’t leave soon, the children will not get their toys in time for Christmas morning.”
“I know, I know!”, Santa replied. “But I can’t leave until these hiccups stop. Hiccup, hiccup, hiccup. Oh, I am so upset. Please help me!”
Mrs. Claus was trying to remember her mother’s remedy to stop hiccups. Oh yes, a paper bag, that was it, a paper bag.
“Stay right there Nicki,” and off she scuttled for the bag. She left Santa all puffed out holding his breath.
When Mrs. Claus returned, Santa released the air. For a moment he thought the hiccups were finished, but to his dismay, his body started shaking like an earthquake and he exploded such a loud, forceful hiccup that his suspenders broke just as he was taking a step forward. His big, red trousers fell down over his boots.
Wham! Santa fell to the floor.
“Oh my, oh my, my, my, are you hurt?,” asked Mrs. Claus.
“Noooo dear,” answered Santa as he struggled with his trousers while rising to his feet.
“Here, try this bag,” said Mrs. Claus. “Breathe into it slowly, eight times, then hold your breath, and also your trousers. I’m sure this will do the trick.” Santa tried but with no luck. “Hiccup, hiccup, hiccup.”
By this time, the elves and reindeer were becoming very impatient. They sent Holly Berry, the smallest of the elves to get Santa.
“Hurry Santa, it’s getting late. We must fly. Maybe the fresh air will settle your hiccups,” said Holly Berry.
Santa agreed that they had to leave. He turned to Mrs. Claus to give her a big Christmas hug and a goodbye kiss when another great hiccup escaped. This time, his trousers stayed up but his hat flew across the room.
Mrs. Claus ran for the hat but slipped on the paper bag and landed in the flour bin. What a sight! If Santa hadn’t seen it with his very own eyes, he wound have thought that there was a snowman in the flour bin.
“Are you going to be alright Ermie?” asked Santa.
Mrs. Claus struggled out of the bin and wiped the flour from her face. She was peeping through two little holes in her wire rimed glasses. Santa could tell by the look in those eyes that Mrs. Claus’ kitchen was not the place for him at this time. He scooped up his hat and headed for the door.
Mrs. Claus could hear in the distance, “on Dasher, on Dancer, on Prancer, hiccup, hiccup, hiccup, and fly away all.”
As the sleigh ascended to the sky, the fresh air did seem to soothe Santa’s problem. It was a beautiful still night. The stars were sparkling and twinkling like a reflection from the glitter on the crusty snow below. The full moon cast a shimmering passage through the scattered clouds that dangled in the midnight velvet sky.
They approached a little sleeping town of Chemainus on Vancouver Island where they were experiencing an extraordinary white Christmas. They saw rows of chimneys, but no smoke. All the families had prepared for Santa’s arrival. Since the fires were not burning, Santa would be able to safely go down the chimneys to deliver the gifts.
Chemainus is admired for its happy atmosphere, friendly Chemainiacs, stunning murals and the splendid theatre for the arts. The view of the Emily Carr murals was breathtaking. Santa knew Emily when she was a young child and he was delighted with the memory of the drawings of his sleigh and reindeer she had left for him beside his milk and cookies, one Christmas Eve many years ago. The sleigh settled on one of the housetops and Santa lifted his pack onto his back.
Can you guess what happened?
Yes, he blasted another enormous hiccup. The toys and presents flew up into the air, landing all over the roof. The elves scurried to pick them up and put them back into Santa’s pack. As soon as they were finished, down the chimney Santa went. But not for long!
“Hiccup, hiccup, hiccup!”
Santa came shooting out of the chimney like the launching of a rocket.
Up, Up, Up, he went and then Down, Down, Down, he came.
He bounced like a ping-pong ball from one side of the roof to the other finally landing on his big, round belly that shook just like jelly.
While Santa was catching his breath and regaining his upright position, Holly Berry devised a plan. She decided that they would all go down the chimney together. Santa went first with Holly Berry on his shoulders to weigh him down. Next came the Snickelfritz twins on top of Holly Berry. Millie Munchie, who gained considerable weight nibbling on Christmas baking, topped the load.
Down, Down, Down, they went. But, not for long. This time Santa outdid himself. Suddenly, from the depth of the chimney, erupted a muffled roar! Out shot Millie Munchie, the other elves and Santa. What a calamity! Up, Up, way Up, and then Down, Down, Down, they came.
Crash! Boom! Thump! All except Holly Berry.
The reindeer were squealing with delight. Never had there been a more exciting Christmas Eve. Their bells were jingling as their heads swished from side to side trying to see where Holly Berry might be.
What could have happened to her?
The Snickelfritz Twins began to cry. Santa’s face showed much concern.
Suddenly, Millie Munchie started jumping up and down. “There she is,” said Millie. “Right over there, Look! Look!”
All eyes were on Millie as she pointed to the sky. There was Holly Berry. She had been hidden by a cloud. Luckily, she had worn her magical jacket with the little magical wings that lowered her ever so gently to the rooftop where the others were waiting.
Everyone cheered as Holly Berry landed. “Thank goodness you are safe,” said Santa, as he started towards the chimney again.
“Please Santa, take a little rest in the sleigh to see if the hiccups will stop,” coaxed Holly Berry. She needed time to construct another plan.
As Santa rested, Holly Berry told the others her newest idea.
They all hid behind the sleigh. When Santa awoke and was stepping down from the sleigh, the elves jumped out and hiccuped in their loudest voices. Santa was so startled that he gasped in a huge breath.
His hiccups stopped!
What a relief! Everyone cheered and jumped for joy.
“We have work to do,” yelled Santa. “Onward team!”
They had to rush to make up for lost time.
Down the chimney he went at lightning speed. Up again with his empty pack. The elves filled it again and they were off to the next rooftop.
At last, all the toys and presents were given out and the sleigh was empty.
Santa’s job was done for another year. He thanked each elf and reindeer for all their help and especially Holly Berry for her plan to stop his hiccups.
With a broad smile and a twinkle in his eye, Santa swung his empty pack over his shoulder. Sniffing the air, he said, “I think I can smell those cookies that Mrs. Claus is baking for us, and the hot chocolate too!” He laughed.
The elves giggled. They knew Santa was just joking about smelling the goodies all the way from Mrs. Claus’ kitchen. They could hardly wait to get home and enjoy eating them.
It was a weary crew that boarded the sleigh for the journey back to the North Pole. The reindeer sprang forward. As they rose into the air and drifted homeward, one could hear …
“Ho! Ho! Ho! … Merry Christmas to all and to all a good …
“Hiccup, Hiccup, Hiccup.”